| There's an old southern saying that goes, "Don't like | | | | causing much damage and loss of life. I remember |
| the weather? Just hang around a few minutes. It'll | | | | sitting on the back porch of my Limestone County |
| change."Anyone who's spent much time in Alabama | | | | home with my old man, watching a spindly tornado |
| can relate to that one. It's not uncommon to wake | | | | pass by just a few miles to the north. What were |
| up to a blue sky filled with brilliant sunshine and white | | | | we doing outside in such a storm, propped up on milk |
| puffy clouds, then go to bed that evening with the | | | | crates like two yokels waiting on a bus to take them |
| wind and rain beating against your window. Alabama | | | | to the big city? You'd have to know my old man to |
| weather is about as predictable as watching The | | | | appreciate the answer to that one. You see, he was |
| Jerry Springer Show. You know something's going to | | | | one of those men who would rather stand outside |
| happen, you're just not sure what it will be.Given the | | | | and face a storm head-on than get caught hiding |
| unpredictability of Alabama weather, I sometimes | | | | from it in a bathtub. At the time, I thought it was |
| wonder why television stations bother employing | | | | pretty cool, sitting out there with him in the rain, |
| weathermen at all. Oh sure, they razzle-dazzle us | | | | watching the butts of his cigarettes float off the |
| with their color radars and storm trackers and | | | | edge of the porch. It was the ultimate father and |
| incoherent weather-speak, and when the weather is | | | | son bonding ritual: two brave souls valiantly facing |
| popping we can count on them to keep us | | | | Mother Nature and all that. Looking back now, I can |
| well-informed, but on an average day you could get | | | | see that we were not heroes. We were just a |
| just as accurate a forecast by calling the Psychic | | | | couple of idiots who were too stupid to be |
| Hotline.I've got an eighty-year-old aunt who predicts | | | | scared.Last week, Alabama was faced once again |
| the weather with what she calls her "magic bunion." | | | | with an onslaught of killer storms much like those |
| To be honest, the magic bunion is not as easy to | | | | that hit in 1974. During the storm that passed over |
| look at as color radar (it's actually pretty disgusting), | | | | my house, it rained harder than I've ever seen it rain |
| but it's usually right on the money when it comes to | | | | before. Powerful gusts of wind blew my plastic porch |
| predicting rain or drought (it throbs when it's going to | | | | furniture down the street and the night sky was alive |
| rain and itches when it's not). Okay, it's not a perfect | | | | with heavy thunder and brilliant flashes of lightning. My |
| science, but the magic bunion would never interrupt | | | | TV weather buddies told me that a severe |
| your favorite show just to tell you it's raining in | | | | thunderstorm was headed my way and they |
| Tokyo, as many TV weathermen would.Most | | | | encouraged me to seek shelter. Hmm, maybe they |
| television stations seem to think that, when it comes | | | | weren't such bad guys to have around, after all.My |
| to predicting the weather, a magic bunion just isn't | | | | wife and daughters were snugly bedded down in the |
| enough. They all have a meteorologist or two on | | | | bathtub. Heavy blankets, candles, a battery-powered |
| staff, though they rarely speak of meteors, and | | | | radio, a box of Ding-Dongs and a jug of Kool Ade |
| enough weather gizmos and gadgets to make Mr. | | | | were close by. My wife, in her infinite wisdom, |
| Wizard green with Doppler envy. Some stations have | | | | wanted to be prepared for a power outage or a |
| taken things to the next level by reporting the | | | | sudden case of the munchies.And where was I during |
| weather from outside of all places. It makes sense, I | | | | this potentially deadly storm? For the most part, I |
| guess, since that's where the majority of weather | | | | was sitting on the toilet singing Barney songs with |
| occurs. And it's sure to cut down on the number of | | | | my girls. But there was a moment when I stepped |
| missed forecasts since all they have to do is look up. | | | | out onto the front porch to face the oncoming |
| It's hard to predict sunshine when rain is falling on | | | | unknown. I stared up into the black sky and waited |
| your head.While I make light of TV weathermen and | | | | for a flash of lightning to illuminate the clouds, to |
| their toys, I do take the weather very seriously. | | | | reveal what was hiding up there. After a minute, I |
| North Alabama is my home. It's also the place my | | | | decided there was nothing to see. I turned to go |
| grampa often called, "the ass end of tornado alley." | | | | inside, but not before stealing one last look at the |
| In modern weather-speak, that means that North | | | | storm.I briefly thought of my old man.I wondered if |
| Alabama is historically prone to weather patterns that | | | | he was doing the same.From "Small Business Q&A" |
| could (and often do) spawn dangerous storms and | | | | With Tim Knox |
| tornadoes. Most North Alabamians have either lived | | | | Tim Knox is a nationally-known entrepreneur, author, |
| through such a storm themselves or know someone | | | | speaker, and radio show host. |
| who has.Myself, included.April 7, 1974: a night when | | | | Tim has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs realize |
| dozens of tornadoes ripped through North Alabama, | | | | their business dreams. |