| Are Your Kids the "B" Word? Nobody wants to | | | | enough of you, your love and focused attention? |
| believe their child is a brat. But, brats abound these | | | | Teach Respect Keep in mind that teaching your child |
| days. In America materialism has overtaken quality | | | | respect for others is one of the best gifts you can |
| time, caring and relating. | | | | give him. |
| Here's a simple test to see if you need to institute | | | | Establish Boundaries When your child pushes the |
| some changes around your house and in your | | | | boundaries - and you need to say NO, mean it. Be |
| relationships to eliminate the brat syndrome. | | | | prepared to put up with the tantrum that's about to |
| - Does your child (over the age of 3) throw a | | | | ensue - and DO NOT GIVE IN. This may take a few |
| temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way? | | | | trials. |
| - Do you often give into your child's wishes just to | | | | You're going to have to endure a few tantrums |
| get him to stop crying or whining? Well, guess what - | | | | before he gets the message. Explain to your child |
| that's why he throws tantrums - they've been quite | | | | (when he's not in the midst of a tantrum) that his |
| effective for him. | | | | behavior is not acceptable and will not get him what |
| - Does your child value material things more than | | | | he wants. Give examples of alternate words and |
| people? | | | | behaviors. |
| - Does your child bully his friends or threaten to | | | | Be firm yet loving. Clear boundaries and consistent |
| withdraw friendship to get his way with them? | | | | responses on your part not only manage behavior |
| - Does your child follow basic household rules, or | | | | better, they also create safety and security for kids |
| does he rule the house? | | | | and teens. |
| - Does your child destroy things out of anger or as a | | | | Remember, if you give in you are fostering |
| means to get attention? | | | | inappropriate behavior. A selfish, self-centered or cruel |
| - Is she sorely lacking in play date invitations? This is | | | | child is not who you are aiming to raise. |
| a sign that other moms don't want to put up with | | | | Give Your Time, Not Toys Stop buying toys and |
| her. | | | | taking trips to the mall for a while. Give your child |
| If you answered yes to two or more,there's a good | | | | love and the gift of your time. There is nothing your |
| chance you've got a brat. If you answered yes to all | | | | child wants more than you. Make dates with your |
| of them, I don't know how you're still sane. | | | | child, play sports, paint, draw, sing, make music; hey, |
| Tips for raising a loving child Here are some tips to | | | | just hang out a little, without your cell phone on. |
| rein in your child and to help him or her grow with an | | | | Model Healthy Behavior Model the behavior you want |
| emphasis on healthy relationships not pathological | | | | your child to exhibit. Using bad words, calling your |
| control, anger and manipulation. | | | | child names or having a fit yourself is the wrong |
| Establish Ground Rules Establish to ground rules in | | | | direction. |
| your home and in your family relationships. Be clear | | | | Avoid Benign Neglect Sometimes, we let our children |
| about the kind of family you are and how you | | | | turn into brats because we feel guilty about saying |
| expect your children to treat those within and | | | | no to them. Other times we parent our children with |
| outside of your family. "We treat others with | | | | "benign neglect" by choosing our own needs, |
| respect." "We do not mock or make fun of others." | | | | interests and work over our children's needs. If you |
| "We stand up for kids who are mistreated." | | | | are choosing work or workouts over your child admit |
| Model Compassion Emphasize caring, compassion and | | | | it and own up to your contribution to their behavior. |
| giving. Brats and bullies are self-centered, raise your | | | | When you let your child be a brat, it's him or her that |
| children to care about the needs and feelings of | | | | you're hurting in the long run. Be available, set clear |
| others. You also want to model love for your child. | | | | boundaries and parent with the end in mind. |
| Might your child be a brat because she is not getting | | | | |