| We are all too familiar with adolescent peer pressure | | | | for their infants do not care about their children's |
| and its effects on young people. However, the | | | | success in our highly competitive and computerized |
| concept of parent peer pressure is not as well | | | | society. This type of marketing is based on parental |
| known. In both types of peer pressure, there is an | | | | fears and anxieties rather than on what is best for |
| "imaginary audience". This audience exists when one | | | | children. |
| believes that he is an actor and everyone around him | | | | So how do parents escape this form of pressure? |
| is critically observing his every move. The existence | | | | First parents must realize that the "imaginary |
| of this evaluative audience explains why adolescents | | | | audience" does not really exist. If every new parent |
| are so concerned about what others think of them. | | | | believes that he or she is an actor on a stage, there |
| Being a new parent is akin to being a young | | | | can be no audience because there are only actors. |
| adolescent. After the birth of a baby the parents | | | | Concern about what others think of one's parenting |
| often experience new feelings such as | | | | comes from one's own internal critic rather than from |
| protectiveness, nurturance, and profound love. The | | | | some outside source. Most people have an internal |
| parents may also find themselves in the company of | | | | critic that is far more judgmental than any "other" |
| new peers; other first time parents like themselves. | | | | evaluator. |
| Not sure of their role as novice parents, they may | | | | Secondly, parents must be more concerned with |
| assume that other parents are watching and judging | | | | what is best for their particular child than what others |
| their child and their parenting skills. This type of peer | | | | think about them as parents. If your son is more |
| pressure may cause parents to act against their own | | | | interested in dance than in soccer, support him in his |
| best judgment and values. | | | | chosen area rather than worry about what the |
| An example of this kind of parent peer pressure is | | | | neighbors think. If your child is not reading on par |
| when parents buy fad toys. Today's parents may be | | | | with her peers, provide her with appropriate tutoring |
| anxious about their children succeeding in an | | | | rather than push her to perform beyond her |
| increasingly global and uncertain economy. Fear and | | | | capabilities. Every child is unique and every child |
| anxiety may prompt parents to buy any toy or | | | | develops at his or her own pace. Just as we would |
| product that claims to give a child a competitive | | | | never pressure a flower to unfold faster than its |
| edge. | | | | natural programming, we should never pressure a |
| Many parents in our technological society believe that | | | | child to progress faster than his or her innate |
| early computer use will give their child the jump on | | | | programming. |
| less tech savvy peers. As a result, one of the | | | | Finally, spend time developing a strong sense of self, |
| fastest growing software markets is "lapware" | | | | based on your own individual values and beliefs. |
| designed for infants from six months to two years | | | | Engage in values clarification exercises to define what |
| of age. The child can sit on the parent's lap and | | | | is most important to you. Talk with your parenting |
| operate a mouse or keyboard with a touch or push. | | | | partner about your shared values and discuss what |
| The manufacturers of such programs as Jumpstart | | | | values and beliefs you want to impart to your |
| Baby and Baby Wow claim that their software | | | | children. Then use common sense and your own |
| teaches critical thinking skills and cause and effect | | | | value system to make decisions on what is best for |
| relations. However, child development experts point | | | | your child, not on your fears and anxieties. In short, |
| out that infants are not capable of critical thinking and | | | | look inward rather than outward for guidance. Realize |
| can learn cause and effect just as easily from drop | | | | that most people are too busy running their own lives |
| and pick up games and crib gyms. The danger in the | | | | to be overly concerned about what you are doing |
| use of lapware programs is that an infant may sense | | | | with yours. When you can be an authentic person in |
| a parent's upset if he chooses the wrong answer. | | | | your own right, you will be far less susceptible to |
| Infants have no sense of right or wrong and should | | | | peer pressure, advertising hype and media messages. |
| not be concerned about disappointing the parent at | | | | You will also be a discerning role model for other |
| this young age. | | | | parents and for your child as you make solid decisions |
| Manufacturers of these computer programs want to | | | | based on what you believe and on what's best for |
| imply that parents who do not purchase tech toys | | | | your child. |