Encouraging Independence

As children grow, so does their desire to becomeshould let them make their own choices, while
independent. Although it may be challenging at times,pointing out the consequences that may arise from
as parents we need to recognize this desire, and inthose choices. Someday they must face the world
fact encourage it in age-appropriate ways. As yourwithout us, and part of our job is to prepare them
children grow and become more independent, you willfor that. We must let them run, but be prepared to
see many changes in them. Their self confidence willcatch them when they fall, as they must from time
increase as they overcome obstacles and are nowto time. We cannot take their steps for them, we
able to do things that were once beyond their ability.can only point out the path.
Often they will become more willing to take risks andIt's hard to imagine when they are small, but
try new things. Our job as parents is to find the rightsomeday very soon they will be walking, riding a bike,
balance between kids' desire for independence andeven, God forbid, driving! If we are overprotective,
the need to keep our kids safe.overly restrictive of our child's activities, they are
Kids need to be allowed, in fact encouraged, to takelikely to grow up ill prepared to meet and overcome
appropriate risks. The goal for parents is tothe challenges they must inevitably face.
determine how much risk is appropriate. The right riskOf course, safety is always paramount and cannot
level for your child will depend on their age,be compromised. If your child wants to do something
developmental level, and temperament. It will changethat risks life and limb, try to find a way that you
over time, and there are few hard and fast rulescan minimize that risk to an acceptable level - hold
that apply to every child, beyond keeping them fromtheir hand, be prepared to catch them, etc. If you
hurting themselves or others.can't find a way to do that, you may have to forbid
It is impossible for any of us to live completelythe activity, in which case you should explain to them
risk-free. Every time you put your kids in the car youas clearly as you can why it is too dangerous.
are putting them at risk. It is a fact of life.Ultimately, no matter how much we warn them,
So what's a parent to do? We must encourage themmost children have to burn their finger on the stove
to explore their world and expand their boundaries,at least once before they learn not to touch it. Our
while setting clear limits where safety is an issue. Wejob is to keep that burn as small as possible.